Psychic Grandma & The Ironing T200 – A Tale of Terror, Mystery and Daring-do!

I am afraid I’ve deceived you dear reader. This will NOT be a horrifying tale of Terror, Mystery and Daring-do. What you are beholding with your amazed eyes is the culmination of years of effort on my part …… to become an Ironing Master! My sensei decided that before I could join the Elite Guard of Zen Ironing Masters, I would have to write a magnum opus that would astound the world. Thus I reveal secrets long hidden, forgotten by the world at large. I charge you, dear reader, keep these secrets deep within yourself, or the reality we know may be destroyed by knowledge I am about to show you.

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Long, long, LONG ago my Siamese Twin and I were born. This was before cell phones, before Al Gore invented the internet and quite possibly before the dinosaurs went extinct. We’re still debating that. But what’s important is that our Psychic Grandma separated us and sent me to the East and my Twin to the West, depending on which way she was standing at the time. Needless to say, I grew up in the rough streets of America while my twin grew up in the lap of luxury, with the Queen of England practically feeding him grapes on command. Psychic Grandma died expending her powers and we never knew her or that we had a twin.

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Alas, my destiny to become THE Ironing Master was derailed. While a mere stripling I did manage to master the T200 iron, but without further help, I was stuck and stagnated for years. Until that fateful day.

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That day when Psychic Grandma revealed herself to me and showed me that I had a Twin, one who was already an Ironing Master. One from whom I could learn the True Path of Ironing and take back my Fated Destiny! Thus, Film-Authority and Bookstooge stood once again back to back. Evil would fall before us like dominoes. Particularly badly balanced dominoes too!

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Was this good enough for Psychic Grandma though? Oh no! She started haunting me and wailing at midnight and shaking chains at the most inconvenient of times.

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So I began my Iron Master training in earnest. Up at noon time, in bed by 5am, eating nothing but pepperoni or supreme pizzas with extra cheese, writing extra blog posts too. It was brutal! But it got Psychic Grandma off my back and that was totally worth it.

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So I stand before you all today, a Humble Iron Master, to tell you that I’m pretty much the Best Iron Master ever and if you don’t think so then I’ll sic our Psychic Grandma on you and THEN you’ll be sorry!

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This post has been crossposted at both MastersofIroning & Bookstooge.

Published by Bookstooge

Without The Good Book, Life's Road is Hell. Bookstooge.com

32 thoughts on “Psychic Grandma & The Ironing T200 – A Tale of Terror, Mystery and Daring-do!

  1. Congratulations on this post. It must have been a very emotional one for you to write, it’s hard to be anything other than intensely moved by this story…this is one of the best articles I’ve read for breaking the taboos around ironing. It’s just like Psychic Grandma said would happen!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks. Sadly, it was supposed to go live at 5am eastern standard time tomorrow. I somehow bungled the time difference and have no idea how. I even checked the internet to make sure I made the calculations right. Obviously, I didn’t.

      But don’t worry, this little snafu will not stop me. I’ll Be Bahk!

      Liked by 2 people

      1. It’s ideal to open softly before the press get hold of it. You’ll be waking up to intense media attention tomorrow. Why? We’re just bloggers, we never asked to be hailed as rockstars! But, whatever you try to take from us,
        We are …

        Masters.
        Of
        Ironing!

        Liked by 2 people

      2. *crowds erupt in spontaneous cheering*

        *and some fireballs with a few doing the spontaneous combustion thing by accident*

        I’m guessing those folks misread the memo.

        All Hail to the Iron Caesars!

        Liked by 2 people

  2. Having just woken up and checking posts in the reader, I came across this one, and am not an emotional wreck. The tears have started to flow for a couple of minutes now, and the only thing that can stop them is another fix of me trying out Ironing again. But I don’t think it will work. This was such an emotional read for me….I have been trying to become that Ironing Master myself, but I’m not near to that level yet. I’m just an addict, erm adept…I’m still learning. But you have inspired me now…to finally achieve that same level, to become….a true Master of Ironing….😀😀😀

    Liked by 2 people

    1. And yet, you ARE already that person! We encourage all to strive to be the best when it comes to ironing, and you may not already know it, but you’re already living that dream! It was inside of us all along! Dry your eyes, and prepare for a world of ironing excellence!

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Okay….okay……wipes eyes and stands up with new resolve: I CAN DO THIS….I’M A MASTER OF IRONING, IT’S ALL WITHIN MY REACH!😀😀
        (This wasn’t too much? not going overboard here am I? 🤔🤔😅😅)

        Liked by 2 people

      1. 😅😅😅
        I’m convinced I can do it…but then there’s this voice of who I think is Psychic Grandfather who tells me I’m not worthy and I shouldn’t try it….🤔🤔😢😢😢
        I’m glad you guys have faith in me though!😅😅

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I will die happy knowing I inspired three grown men to blog about ironing and laundry. As an actual Grand Mistress of Shotokan Ironing (godan~ 5th degree black belt) I applaud your struggles to reach the pinnacle of this important art and look forward to the day you are my equals. 🙅‍♀️🥋

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I will die happy knowing we got you to comment about this. It completely brought a smile to my face. Thanks for that 😀

      And I think we just found our nemesis, Darth Fraggleus! Don’t be surprised if you show up in future posts…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You changed your avatar! You know, I had to go poking around gravatar to figure out what your previous pix was. It took me forever to realize it wasn’t a hooded figure but someone with a camera over their face.

        Liked by 1 person

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